Harry Potter Picture Show
by Sylar221B
Summary: Something strange is brewing in the Great Hall. Kind of Songfic. Pretend transvestite Harry, Snarry, pranks, Headmaster getting robbed of lemon drops, chaos! I do not own Harry Potter or Rocky Horror Picture Show.


The Great Hall doors opened with a loud bang. Students looked up in surprised while the staff watched in curiosity. There, in the entrance, stood Harry Potter. The students broke out into whispers and everyone was staring in confusion. Now normally this wouldn't be a cause of such a reaction, however, Harry wasn't quite...normal that day. He stood there in a black trench coat that went down to his ankles. Where it stopped, you could see the begining of black, shiny high heels. His glasses were missing. He was also wearing a bright red lipstick and thick eyeshadow.

Hermione's jaw dropped while Ron's had started choking on his bacon. Severus Snape stared in horror while the Headmaster's eyes twinkled. He reached into his pocket and took out a small back of lemon drops. Harry waved his hand and three people dressed oddly walked in and stood next to him. One of them was a girl in a maid outfit and had hair that made Hermione's poofy hair look tame. On his other side was a man that was hunched over and had long, thin, blond hair. He was dressed in a tux and had black fingerless gloves on. The last one was kneeling in front of Harry. She had a sparkly yellow jacket and a matching hat. She was wearing a big red bow tie and sparkly silver shoes. He hair made her look part of the Weasley family. McGonagall made a motion to Hagrid and he knocked his large fist on the table to quiet down the students. Just as the volume went down, the blond man slowly made his way to the Staff Table. Everyone's eyes followed him, but his eyes were stuck on the Headmaster. When he reached him, he leaned over the table slightly and reached towards Dumbledore. Just as Flitwick and McGonagall were about to stop him, his hand suddenly changed direction and he plucked a lemon drop from the Headmaster's bag.

He started to make his way back and as he passed Ron and Hermione, he popped the lemon drop in his mouth. Snape and McGonagall gaped while Dumbledore mourned the loss of his lemon drop. As the blond reached his spot next to Harry, the Boy-Who-Lived smirked. He drew his wand out of his pocket and made a flamboyant swish. Music suddenly filled the Great Hall. Many people recognized it and stared incrediously as Harry changed his position and opened his mouth to start singing.

_"How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman"_ Harry guestured to the blond man on his right.

_"He's just a little brought down because when you knocked, he thought you were the candyman."_ The blond man made a face that looked slightly like a childish pout. The sparkly girl hopped up and Harry started to stut into the Hall. He grabbed the edge of each side of the coat and threw it open and off. He was now in a black corset shirt, black lacy briefs with garter straps, stockings, and black fingerless gloves that went to his elbow.

_"Don't get strung out by the way that I look,_

_Don't judge a book by its cover_

_I'm not much of a man by the light of day, _

_But by night I'm one hell of a lover"_ The maid and the blond man made their way through on opposite sides of the hall while the sparkly girl stayed right behind Harry. He tossed his head and rubbed his hands on down his chest and stomach. His tongue pressed pass his closed lips and he licked them.

_"I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania._

_So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound_

_You look like you're both pretty groovy"_ Harry said this last line while looking at Seamus and Dean. Seamus grinned while Dean blushed and looked down at his plate muttering about insane friends. The maid had made her way to the middle of the Hufflepuff table and was dancing on it. The blond had gotten to the Slytherin table and was dancing right behind Draco Malfoy. He was rubbing himself all over Draco and Draco was trying and failing to escape. The other girl was mimicking Harry, only with less flare and in the opposite direction from him.

"_Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal_

_We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie."_ Harry had still been making his way towards the Staff table and had just walked past Fred and George Weasley. The twins grinned and jumped out of there seats. George stood slightly to the left while Fred stood almost directly in front of Harry. The currently transvestite Savior looked at Fred and raised an eyebrow. Snape started to bang his head onto the table as Fred started to sing, and very off key.

_"I'm glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone?_ Harry started to walk around him and randomly shake hands with some students. The students were too shocked and bewildered to react. Fred and George follwed him while Fred practically invaded his personal space.

_We're both in a bit of a hurry."_ Harry stopped for only a second and glanced sideways at Fred with a raised eyebrow. He the reached around Lavender and grabbed a goblit of pumpkin juice and drank some.

_"We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car"_ Fred stopped and George sang the next line in a slightly scared voice.

_"We don't want to be any worry."_ Harry spun on his heel, tossed the now empty goblit over his shoulder where it landed on Terry Boot's plate, and gently but forcefully pushed Fred and George down onto the seats of the Gryffindor table and resumed singing.

_"So you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?_

_Well babies, don't you panic."_ Harry reached down and caressed George's face lightly. Then he tapped his face rather hard and straightened out.

_By the light of the night when it all seems alright_

_I'll get you a satanic mechanic._

_"Im just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania."_ While he had sang, the blond man pulled out a wand and waved it. A fancy chair appeared in front of the staff table. At the word Transylvania, all four of them had met at said chair. Harry plopped down into the chair and sat in it with his legs crossed over one of the arms of the chair while the blond man kneeled down at his head. The maid stood behind the chair while the sparkly one kneeled down at his feet and ran her hands over his feet without touching them.

_"So why don't you stay for the night?"_The other three repeated the word night.

_"Or maybe a bite?"_ The blond man and the sparkly girl reapeted the word bite while the maid bit at the air.

_"I could show you my favourite obsession._

_I've been making a man with black hair and no tan"_ Snape's right eye started to twitch.

_"And he's good for relieving my"_ Harry paused and smirked. _"tension."_ Harry popped out of the chair and the blond man vanished it. The three mysterious people turned and watched as Harry made his way to one end of the Staff table. He climbed up on top of it and started strutting his way across it, smoothly avoiding and plates or goblits.

_"I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania."_ He stopped in front of Snape and laid down on the table so he was facing Snape and held his face in his hands.

_"So come up to the lab._

_And see what's on the slab."_ Harry ran his fingers over Snape's lips and he shivered in responce before scowling.

_"I see you shiver with antici..."_ Harry paused and slowly licked his lips. _"pation!_

_But maybe the rain isn't really to blame_

_So I'll remove the cause,"_ Harry paused once more and let out a three syllabal, soft, yet heard through the silent Hall, laugh. He then suddenly jumped off of the table and made his way back to the trio who stood in front of Dumbledore.

_"But not the symptom!"_ As the music came to an end, Harry patted the blond man on the head and started to walk towards the doors with the other three following him. Before he could make it, however, Snape had stood and yelled, "Potter! Come back here this instant!" Harry just grinned and spun around. Snape had opened his mouth to continue but stopped short as the three people standing around Harry began to change. The Great Hall watching in surprise as the blond man started to turn into a smirking Draco Malfoy. A bunch of students turned to look at the Draco seated at the Slytherin table just in time to see him turn into Gregory Goyle, who was supposidly in the Hospital Wing for eating too much.

The maid had also changed. Her hair had calmed down some and her face had changed into the amused face of Hermione Granger. The Hermione at the Gryffindore table had changed to Theodore Nott who was also thought to be in the Hospital Wing after being in a fight with Ron Weasley. The same Ron Weasley who now stood in the spot of the girl in the sparkly clothing. Sitting next to Theo, was now, to the general amusment, a grinning Remus Lupin. He grinned at Harry and raised his goblet to him. Almost as though by a silent signal, the Great Hall was filled with applause, cat calls, whistles, and laughing. Harry grabbed Ron and Hermione's hands and Ron grabbed Draco's hand, and they bowed as one. Snape glared at them all and made his way towards Harry. Ron, Hermione, and Draco quickly made their way back to their seats. Harry just calmly stood there, still in his costume, and crossed his arms.

Snape stopped in front of Harry and glared at him. A few students winced at the glare. Harry just smiled and cocked his head innocently to the right.

"Did you not like it Sev?" Many students gasped at this. Hermione and Draco rolled their eyes while Ron slapped his hand to his forehead. Snape raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak. What came out of his mouth next made even Albus Dumbledore flabbergasted.

"I would have prefered you NOT use my only muggle tuxedo. I will never be able to wear that thing again. I extend a congradulations at an...acceptable job." Harry grinned and threw himself at Snape. A few students fainted and Fred and George dramatically screamed as Harry and Snape kissed. Right there. In the middle of the Great Hall. The staff seemed shocked into silence. The pair broke apart and looked toward the Headmaster. Dumbledore blinked owlishly before nodding his head slightly in acceptance and offering them a lemon drop. Harry grinned and took one while Snape scowled.

IAmTheLineTheSeparates!FearMyPowerOfSeparation!IAmTheLineTheSeparates!FearMyPowerOfSeparation!IAmTheLineTheSeparates!

The Prank, as it had been called, capital letters and all, was the talk of the school for weeks. Students and even a few staff had gone up to Harry and gave him praise and congratulations. The majority of the students were surprised at the friendship between Draco and the Golden Trio. They were all confused to why until they saw Draco and Ron snogging in a hallway one morning. Ron had blushed madly while Draco hid behind him.

Colin Creevey had taken lots of pictures of The Prank. He had put them together into a scrapbook and gave it to Harry as a present. Copies could be seen being sold by Fred and George.

Remus had been given a room in the castle with the promise of being the Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher next year once again. He was extremely happy about that and celebrated by eating as much chocolate as he could. Of course Harry demanded that he share. That hadn't ended well. Lets just say it envolved moldy, rebellious cheese, penguins, and a whole lot of angry Crookshanks clones. Harry Potter did NOT do sugar highs well.

Snape had convinsed Dumbledore to let Harry stay in his private rooms in the dungeons. At first Snape had been annoyed that his rooms were being envaded by students, but he got used to Draco, Hermione, Ron, Theo, Crabbe and Goyle (who were not as dumb as they looked AND an item), Neville, Seamus, and Dean (also together) in his rooms at odd times of the day. Harry was just happy that he got to stay with Snape.

Harry hadn't worn any other shoes but those high heels since.

IAmTheLineTheSeparates!FearMyPowerOfSeparation!IAmTheLineTheSeparates!FearMyPowerOfSeparation!IAmTheLineTheSeparates!

Yay! I hope you liked this story! It was a spur of the moment idea. I had this song stuck in my head so I decided to use it. I do NOT own Harry Potter OR Rocky Horror Picture Show! If you liked it, review! Reviews are fuel to my soul!


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